I have so many things in my mind, I don't know where to start...
Today was a shitty day. As usual :/
Okay so, a few days ago Yin ying invited EVERYONE, and by everyone, I meant everyone in 3J, 3I, a few of 3k and 3L, form 4's, form 5's, ex form 5's... mostly everyone I know, to KFC. The one near my house.
I was totally 'YAY!' for the whole day, really excited. Because KFC is tomorrow. Finally. But the others didn't seem like it, and it sort of made me feel like shit but I can't let them see. So I pretended. Again.
I'm getting really sick of pretending to be okay.
Then it became depressing. I asked all six of my friends, the ones that I always stick to la, whether they're going. All I got was 'I dunno' from each and everyone of them. The exact same words. Wth? How long has it been since yin ying AND I last asked if you could go? Like, Tuesday? Plenty of time to ask your parents, k?
*deep breathe*
I figured, no, I KNEW, Ho yan wouldn't go. You know how she is la, very negative one. She usually bails out of hang outs like these, and it annoys me lots. 'Cause if she doesn't go, Sook Cheng won't go, and if Sook Cheng don't go, Rebekah won't go.
Little did I know that Rebecca didn't feel like partying, she said no too.
This is, uhm, not the first time they've bailed on me.
I admit, I'm more of a party girl. I like to go to hang outs like these. But that's just to have fun with everyone! And also a chance to leave the house...
(My mind is so messed up now I really don't what's next...)
Uhm. So I started thinking. If I went to KFC without them, which is not a problem to me 'cause I can have fun without them anyways, and then I have to go straight to Ms. Tan for Maths Tuition at 2.30pm. KFC starts at 11:30. Plenty of time to have fun (:
BUUUTTT!
If I dont go to KFC, then I'll go to Ms. Tan at 12:45pm 'till 2:15pm. Then my mom will have time to go visit my aunt. THEN I won't have to go for BM tuition la :D
Malas, I know. But it's a holiday, right?
'Cause my mom said if I have to go for Maths tuition at 2:30 till 4, she won't have enough time to visit auntie. Then maybe we would go there on Saturday. I freaked, 'cause I was planning on going to Andrea's earlier so we could hang out a while. Miss her so much :')
I tried to discuss with my mom, but she was too busy with her stuff (or maybe too annoyed to talk). She just never listens to what I have to say. And that ruins my mood all the time. I tried another time when she was in the room reading a magazine, she thought I just wanted to go KFC and blahblahblahallthebadstufflaaa. Then I said I'm good with visiting Auntie. She ignored, then said I'm selfish.
Emo moment then. Ran to the room, broke down.
I hate this so much. This emo thing in me. I dont' want to be like this ):
But seriously, I don't know who to talk to. Andrea, I know you're reading this, and I'm not saying that I don't want to talk to you about it, it's just...I don't know how to say it to you. Really, I want to tell everything to you. I just don't know how.
SO after being emo and all, figured I should do something to take my mind off things. I blogged (:
So here I am. Feeling less emo then before, but uncertain if I made the right choice, afraid that I did not and I will regret.
I've been trying to explain this to someone in a less confusing way. This ... thing that happens to me when I expect something to happen by the next day, it doesn't come out as what I'd expected, but the other way round. It's a really bad thing, and it has been a big big problem to me. It makes me feel like, I'm an unlucky person.
It has happened a long time ago, 've been trying to make myself think and expect the worse, so that the good things will happen instead. It sometimes works, but I'm not sure it happens a lot of times...
I think it has something to do with how people think of things.
Well, maybe I've watched to many drama shows. You know how they story plot works, like in the start it's all happy and stuff, but then in that instant, something bad happens, something really bad. It's like all those bad luck that has been sustained by the good luck comes out all at one time. It's like, you were in a dream when the good things happen, when you wake up, that's when the real nightmares come. Reality sucks, right? It makes you suffer.
I don't know if any of that makes sense to you, but I've tried my best to explain what I wanted to say all this while. You know how I confuse people ;) It has always make me look and feel like a fool when their faces go all 'wtf are you talking about?". Then I worry if I say "Nevermind" it will annoy them even more. I know how that annoys me. But I'm just very malas to repeat everything again especially when you still won't understand if I did.
I suck, noh?
Piano theory exams are coming up a couple of weeks later. I am not ready yet. Completely not ready yet.
What do I do?
Thursday, February 25, 2010,2/25/2010 10:55:00 PM |
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I'M BACKKK!!!
From Alor Setar, back to KL :D
Home sweet home ♥
Well, not that I didn't have a good time when I was there. I had fun (:
Andrea's gone back home, at the exact day I came back home. Shit fck, noh?
But, worry not. 'Cause there might be dinner this Saturday, and Andrea said we could hang out on Sunday. Hallelujah!
I'm so used to listening music through headphones now(they're so, so comfy!), that this morning when I logged in to youtube and open lots of tabs, like usual, I actually asked ''Where are those headphones?"
Then realizing that I'm back home. No headphones, no laptop, no PSP. Shit.
And the worse thing is, when I hit the play button, I realized again, there are no speakers.
Like, for god's sake!
Now I feel like watching nigahiga's 'The PSA'. Again. Shit.
'What's a P-SA?'
L.O.L
Sigh.
What now?
Friday, February 19, 2010,2/19/2010 10:43:00 AM |
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IT'S VALENTINES DAYY!!
AAANDD CHINESE NEW YEARR!!
BIG WOOO!! XD
I'm in Alor Setar now. Gonna miss Andrea and Arthur so so much :/ && BENJII!! Ohhh...
Sigh. But I'll have fun here, so you guys have loads of fun too :D I'll try to go online everyday, since they have like, what, 4 laptops here. Not to mention, a PS2, PS3, and two PSPs. I know I know, their dad loves them lots and is loaded. He's a chef (:
I suddenly felt the urge to get myself a laptop. I'm eying the cherry red VAIO one. Sexy, no?
Okay, now it's like -
DSLR - RM 2000+
N97 - RM2000+
LAPTOP - RM???
Whooaaaa....
I gotta start saving. Maybe I should get a part time job. If anybody wants to hire a 15 year old, that is.
Man, why do I always like spensive stuff?
And I gotta stop cracking my knuckles. You know how I usually crack'em, it's like a habit now. Because if I don't, it's won't feel right. And sometimes it hurts a lil.
But now my mom told me it's a bad thing. 'Cause in the future my fingers will become all big and, rough? I don't wannttt D:
I don't know about you, but this blog is really boring the hell out of me. It's so, dull. No pictures, that's the problem I guess.
I hate to say this, but I don't have a phone. I don't have one, so I don't take lots of pictures. Let alone cam-whoring ):
I'm getting the hang of using this laptop. It's Dell.
Actually, all laptops are the same, aren't they?
:x
Awh man...
Well, what else should I say?
I've got more clothes from my aunt? Some of'em are secondhand (if you know what I mean ;) ), and I have to be honest, not ALL of them are pretty :x But ehh, whatever.
I wonder if there's a shopping mall here...
I'm being such a shopaholic :c
That ain't good, ain't it?
Welp, gotta go.
I don't know what to do next, but still.
HAVE FUN, PEOPLE <3
P.S: DID ANYONE RECORD CHEE REN AND KA SIONG BEATBOXING THAT DAY?
It was soooo coool!!! I SCREAMED SO LOUD MY FRIENDS ARE ANNOYED.
'Think I'm in lovee ♥
Not thatt kind of love laa.
Tsk tsk.
Sunday, February 14, 2010,2/14/2010 11:29:00 PM |
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IT.IS.ALIVE!
YES. I'M BACK. TO BLOGGING.
No, I didn't go anywhere. I was just, being a lazy bum. Again. And also, no inspiration or motivation to blog. You can't blame me for that.
I'm just gonna make this a short one, 'cause it's quite frantic downstairs. It's New year's Eve, everybody's coming over for reunion dinner. And I'm already hungry...(Haven't had my breakfast yet :x)
Arthur's here already. And I'm planning for a hair cut after lunch. Yes, yet another hair cut. I just can't stand the way it looks. It's like...ugh. I don't know, maybe it's just me being bored by how it always looks the same. In school or house, flat, out of shape, not growing any longerr*curse*. I'm up for new stuff!!
Oh yeah, i'm using another CPU now. Long story, really frustrating. Don't wanna talk about it :c
...
Just got news, not getting hair cut 'cause it's new year's eve and it'll cost him a 'bomb'.
I don't know what that means, but I think he meant it'll be very expensive. Tsk tsk, such a miser...
Well, at least I can get to try out that thing from Watsons ( I've fallen in love with Watsons recently :x), it's like those creamy stuff you put on you hair after washing it, and it becomes like, I don't know, wavy or something. Lot's of styles to choose from. I wanted to try it out a long time ago, but eh, I had school :/
I'mma go there tonight :D
I really don't know what to do with my Restaurant City. I don't want it to die, but I'm just not that interested in it. I would let Arthur have my password, or he'll trade everything I have with...I don't know. My lil bro? Meh, maybe. But he's prolly gonna forget to feed my poor chefs waitresses and janitor since he's gonna be soo busy with his own .-.
OOOH I HEAR FIRE CRACKERS!!
NOW I'm hyped up! (:
It's only 1:11 PM btw.
I can't wait to see everyone gathering at the table playing Mahjong(is that how you spell it?), or eating steamboat seafood, or outside barbecuing.
Us kids would be busy playing around with the PS2, laptops and comps, as usual. LOL
Oh right, I have no idea where my speakers are right now. It was here about a couple of days ago but now, it's gone :(
Think i gotta stop. 've got nothing else to say (:
It's the first time Valentine's Day and CNY are on the same day.
LET US HAVE DOUBLE THE FUN AND LOVE :D:D
Saturday, February 13, 2010,2/13/2010 12:07:00 PM |
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